Posted by: beansai | September 15, 2008

Badly Broken Brain

     Two weeks (three actually, by the time I am posting this), that’s all it has been. I have to admit, I have been a mixture of excitement and apprehension about this semester beginning. Excited, thrilled, over-joyed, jubilant, light-hearted, ecstatic that this is my final semester as an Undergraduate. Nervous and anxious about the amount of pressure the label “final” puts on me (as well as all the pressure I put on myself to do well for my final semester). I’ve also got my panties in a twist over the amount of work I have to do in order to prepare for the application process of Graduate schools. I find it a rather intense and intimidating process.

     Despite that slightly neurotic view of things, I was happy that the semester started. WAS being the operative word here of course. I was thrilled until classes actually started and the first week ended with more homework than I had ever had after the first week in my five previous years of study. By the second week my brain had broken, badly. I felt surprisingly overwhelmed and out of my league in regards to some of my assignments. Especially for my grad-level poetry class. After familiarizing myself with one professor’s style for a full school year, it was a quick shift into another’s that I wasn’t quite ready for.

     The amount of assignments due just for that one class alone were enough to send my slackened mind into overdrive. There was no transition period, no getting back into the mode of things. Silly me to think that life will let you ease into it. Here I am now, after the second week and I feel even more brainless than after week one. The weight of homework due next week isn’t as intense as it was this one, but I’m still recovering from the unexpected shock of a lack of introduction into the semester. I feel as though I simply picked up in the middle of it, like I showed up a week or two late. Insanity.

     Despite my neurons being overloaded and disengaging, I have a generally positive outlook regarding the semester. I, so far, like all of my professors and am enjoying the content of the courses I am taking. I don’t mind a challenge, I just like to be prepared for the degree of challenge prior to taking it head-on. After a frazzled, disorienting two weeks, I hope to slide back on track, for the most part.



  1. That sounds like a nightmare. I really don’t know how you handle it at all. I would be huddling in a corner crying.

  2. @meganice9 – Yeah I come pretty darn close to that sometimes… or it results in me kicking the wall in frustration and hopping around on one foot, clutching the other and in turn cursing the wall for hurting me and myself for kicking it… good times.

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